But, Unless, and So

I finally feel like I have time to write.  I just completed my first semester of teaching.  I feel like I was just getting into my groove and now it's all over, and I have to start with a fresh group of kids. This is an invigorating yet challenging thought.  I don't necessarily like change.  I moved frequently growing up and I feel like I just trained my students how I wanted them, then in a flurry, I'm packing up my room, the halls are being lined with every piece of furniture that can fit through your classroom door, and it's all over.  It's kind of depressing.


I was walking through the halls yesterday--my last trip to my classroom--and I felt like it was the move-out day at Summer Camp when everyone has all their stuff lined up and is waiting for their parents to collect it.  Yeah--it's sad.  But on the other hand, it's also hopeful.  There are so many things I want to add and re-do next year, I've talked to the fabulous Art Teacher about collaborating with her on some cool things.  Then, the other Freshman teacher and I have been brain-storming about Literature Circles and Evaluating Cubes and it's exciting.


But...I don't know if I'll even be back to teach next year.  


I was hired in the middle of the school year (January) and anyone hired after August is dubbed "TEMPORARY."  I've heard that term so often this semester, and frankly I want to blot it out of the English language.  "She's temporary,"  "Ohhh, you're temporary."  "I'm temporary," I tell them.  "Mrs. Lung," I heard you're getting fired!!"  "No," unnamed student, "I'm not getting fired, I'm TEMPORARY!"  So yes, I'm temporary.  This year there were 2 temporary English teachers, the other one got pregnant and drove from Asheville, so she isn't returning, so now there is one English position left at my high school. My principal has told me it's unofficially mine, my mentor has told me I'm at the top of the list, and every other teacher has told me you've done a great job, you deserve to be back.


Unless....the county places another teacher in my spot, and they very well could, I've heard.


That's another word I'd like to blot out of the English language:  unofficial and every other variation of it.  


Great Principal:  "Yes, I'm sure you'll be back next year, you've done a fabulous job.  You're test scores were amazing, you're classroom management and command of the curriculum is outstanding, so I feel good about you being back. I want you back."  


Humble, First Year Teacher:  "So it's official, then?"  


Respectable Principal:  "No, not official yet.  When I know it's official, you'll know it's official.  Don't take a job until you talk to me."  


I'm glad he tried to reassure me, but I kinda feel like a sinner in the hands of an angry God.  I'm dangling over the pit of the unemployed, only receiving a shred of the OFFICIAL assurance I'd like.  And I know the budget is crud, the economy is crud, and I better be glad I had a job even for a semester.  But that's the thing, I HAD A JOB, and not just any job, MY DREAM JOB.  


I loved every single, teensy, weensy second of my first semester of teaching.  I loved being referred to as a teacher, I loved yelling at kids for running down the halls, I loved when my ESL group of kids finally realized I cared and ended up hanging out in my room those last few days of school.  I loved when my student told me he had never passed an EOC before, failed mine the first time, then after re-mediating made a high 3!  I loved the kid that told me he had never tried before on an EOC until he took mine (which brought equal feelings of awwww and disturbance). I mostly loved the staff (the ungossiping third or fourth of them).  I loved the fact that I got to actively pour my brain, creativity, passion, and love into a daily job.  It's the greatest profession ever (if you can get past the negativity and learn that your classroom is a vacuum that the bad budget doesn't exist in.)


So....I have a job interview.  


I got the call yesterday from a neighboring, rival school in the county.  I have high suspicions my AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT curriculum specialist got me in. 


I'm going to see what happens.  Wish me luck.  ;~)